A Big Wake Up Call - My Fertility Journey

EndometriosisFertilityMotherhood
Written By sara hess

Remembering back to when we were trying to conceive brings tears into my eyes. For some, it's so easy and for others, it's so much harder than you could ever imagine.

I'm so blessed to say I finally get to have my miracle baby, but I will always remember the hardship we had to face trying to get here. It has definitely allowed us to appreciate every second of our journey. Fertility, pregnancy, and parenthood all come in different shapes and sizes. And this is my story about infertility. I hope that this informs, inspires, and empowers anybody that might be going through a difficult time trying to conceive.

From a young age you are told that getting pregnant is SO easy, well reality check it is not. It is a goddamn miracle when it actually happens, even for folks that never struggled with it.

When I was diagnosed with Endometriosis 3 and a half years ago quite unexpectedly (my Endo was called silent Endo so I didn't have a lot of signs until my emergency visit) I had no idea what lay ahead and how having surgery to remove my cyst would affect my egg count. Things I wish I knew when I decided to opt for surgery! However at the time due to the size of my cyst, it was the 'best' option. This surgery catapulted me into a health reckoning! I had to shift my diet, my mindset, and the way I was treating my body. As I shifted my diet to Endo-friendly, started receiving acupuncture, arvigo massage, getting my hormones tested, and researching Endo (felt like I was getting a master’s degree) I had no idea the journey that lay ahead and how long it would take to conceive our baby girl.

When we finally decided to start trying I felt like I was in a great place with my body and mind and it would be a cinch! We would be pregnant in no time. Month after month seeing a negative pregnancy test started to wear on me and my hope started to diminish. What was I doing wrong? Why wasn't I getting pregnant? So we thought the next order of operations was to make an appointment with some fertility specialist and go from there. Talk about disappointment... I walked into those appointments with high hopes and came out even more crushed. In a nutshell, my ovarian reserve (egg count) was LOW (lower than it should be for my age), surgery had created adhesions that can make it challenging to conceive, I was likely to go through menopause in just a few years and the likely hood that I would conceive naturally was 0% and with IVF was 20% and that was on the high side. FUCK! And the cherry on top, 3 specialists less told me this exact info. I was crushed.. usually, I can be optimistic and see the brighter side of things but after that no way. However there was something inside me that kept thinking, this can't be true, this can't be true. So I said to my husband, I am not accepting this diagnosis and I am gonna do everything in my power to heal this body and make it possible to conceive. We decided that after two years of trying if we were still not pregnant we would try IVF.

Fast forward, I went on a fertility/endo-friendly diet, took all the supplements needed to support my body, continued with acupuncture, zeroed in on my fertility window with the Mira ovulation kit, and monitored my progesterone, estrogen, thyroid, and other hormones (all KEY in fertility), enrolled in a fertility program with the incredible Dr. Cleopatra, did guided meditations around fertility every morning, did two fertility cleanses and continued to read/research everything about fertility and hormone health!  It became my life and in many ways felt like a full-time job. It was not easy, I spent many nights crying, feeling like no progress was being made and I was never gonna get pregnant. However I finally got to a point in my journey where I had to let go.. let go of this timeline, let go of expectation and let go of this gripped mindset of needing to be perfect in order to conceive. I was enough and I was doing enough. My body was becoming an oasis for our child and they were coming. And I can honestly say when I finally accepted that, we conceived our baby girl on Nov. 6/7. Half the battle is the state in which our health is in (even the healthiest of folks can have hormonal issues that affect this process) and the other half is your mindset. The mind is SO powerful and can really fuck with you at times. A lot of this journey was also training my mind and thought patterns. You will meet fertility specialists that will tell you your chances of conceiving are low, but in reality, there is no way they can truly know that. I am evidence of that! Their diagnosis is not final, those tests you take are not final and just because you don't conceive in a year does not mean you will not get pregnant. "Even with no treatments, 30% of women conceive within one month, 50% with four months, 70% with eight months, and by eighteen months, 90% of women will get pregnant" (Dr. Aviva Romm - Hormone Intelligence). And even if you have to turn to intervention you know that you have done everything you can and your body is ready and will most likely receive the treatment successfully!

We faced so many obstacles and I am so grateful that my husband was by my side the whole time supporting me in all the ways.

And for those of you struggling, I see you, I hear you and I am there for you. Please reach out if you have any questions and see below all the practices that worked for me on this journey. You are not alone!

Trust me I did everything and what it came down to is a combo of the things I listed below (diet, vitamins, exercise, acupuncture, arvigo massage, mantra, meditation, tracking my period and fertility window) AND the big one, do my best to let go and trust that everything I was doing was working even though at times it felt like I was taking steps back. 

In addition to all that I would ask yourself; 

What is my current diet like?

What is my period like? (how long is it, how heavy is it, 

What is my relationship to sex like with my partner, without my partner? (pleasure is the key to baby-making!!! all these women talk about that)

Do I really want to have kids and what is my time frame?

How stressed am I?

How much sleep am I getting?

What environmental (toxic) chemicals am I interacting with daily (think cosmetics, cleaning products, plastic, etc.)?

Here are a few websites and doctors that have been really my go-to for this whole journey:

I love them because of their integrative approach (looking at the whole problem from all angles). This is my personal opinion and I have personally experienced great results. It's a lot I know, so take your time going through it. Also, all these folks are on social media and post wonderful sound bites there. 

1. Dr. Aviva Romm (she is a herbalist, midwife, and MD)

This woman is incredibly smart and has such a full spectrum outlook on supporting healing in the body). Her book that I recommended is 'Hormone Intelligence' if you have not bought it, buy it asap. 

Here are some great articles she has written on Fertility:

2. Heather Rodriguez - Boulder Area

Her site https://natural-fertility-info.com/ is jammed-packed with so much great info & is run by nutritionists, doctors, herbalists, etc. 

3. Here is another great doctor I came across in my research, Dr. Zen

Also here are a few articles she has written specifically for Endo: https://www.nmdwellnessofscottsdale.com/drzenblog

4. Not sure if you are doing acupuncture but if you are not I highly recommend doing it!

There is a great practitioner in the Denver/Boulder area named Katie Altneu. I follow her on social media and have also done a cleanse with her and a few other things. She has a boatload of info on fertility and that is her focus in her practice. 

5. Primemester program with Dr. Cleopatra

  • I did this 4-month program that focuses on the mental, emotional, and physical aspects of fertility. The program cost has gone up since I did it however you might be doing a lot of what they have you do already. Her focus in the program is diet (EAT, LIVE like you are already pregnant!), unpacking any family history/trauma that could be affecting your psyche on getting pregnant (a lot of epigenetic change), mantras (mirror practices, meditation, etc.) -- all that said here is the link to the program and I would be happy to chat on the phone about it. There is a lot in the program and it's hard, to sum up, my experience and all the details of what iI did in an email. 

  • link: https://fertilitypregnancy.org/protocol/

6. Brooke Boskovich - Fertility dietitian

  • Her Instagram is awesome and has super enlightening and vital insight on there. Also, check out her website because she has more in-depth articles about fertility issues. 

  • www.brookebnutrition.com 

All of these women focus on hormones, nutrition, and lifestyle to help restore balance. And a lot of times it is one or a couple of things that are out of whack (minor or major) which create the difficulty. Also, you might want to just pick one of these practitioners and work one on one with them or just simply follow their protocols.  

7. Dr. Joe Dispenza - scientist/turned meditation teacher

I did one of his morning/evening meditations called "Being Defined by a Vision of the Future." It really helped to quiet my mind during the process of conceiving and undoing the negative thought patterns that would come up. You can buy the meditation on his website for like $5. https://drjoedispenza.com/collections/meditations

8. Consider seeing a highly experienced pelvic floor specialist

So much can be unpacked/healed through intervaginal work with a pelvic floor specialist:

  • Trauma

  • Scar tissue breaks up

  • Blood circulation/flow

  • Absence of periods

  • Learning to love and not fear that part of your body

Lastly, I would highly recommend doing castor oil packs and Mayan abdominal massage lookup specialists in your area. Most of the practitioners above recommend fertility massage (arvigo massage is one of the techniques), acupuncture along with nutrition, and various vitamins. 

Also, all the above practitioners will have you do this but I would get your hormone levels checked (perhaps your dr. has already had you do this too). Here is a list of what to check for. Everything is like an interconnected web, so when one part is not working the whole system falls apart and wreaks havoc. 

Finally, I would have your male partner (if in a relationship) get their sperm checked and also work on a fertility-friendly diet for them. Men play such a huge role in this process but given how society works never get looked at because how could it be their problem ... 

sara hess www.sararahelyoga.com
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The Silent Killer - A Personal Story of Endometriosis